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THEY STILL NEED YOU - PERSPECTIVE FROM A WILDCAT PARENT
Having your child away at college is bittersweet as a parent. You are excited for them – excited for the new experiences they will have, excited for the new friends they will make, excited for them to find what they want to be when they grow up, and excited for them to flourish and thrive and gain independence. You have to hope that what you have taught them up until now will allow them to be able to be on their own, away from you.
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You hope you taught them well enough that they truly can be independent adults who act and live maturely, make good choices, and speak responsibly. You hope that they will be able to make good decisions, study hard, eat well, do their laundry (more than once or twice a semester), and have responsible fun without you being there in person to guide them.
Along with this hope for their independence, though, comes the realization that you are not going to be needed like you have been for the last 18 years. That can seem lonely, sad, and to be honest, frightening. You still need them because they bring you happiness, smiles, laughter, and love. You, however, are feeling they don’t need you anymore.
Take comfort in knowing they DO still need you (even if they don’t think so)… maybe just in different ways.
If your child is fortunate enough to have great roommates, great friends, great classes, great professors, and great everything for their college life with no bumps along the way, they still need you. They still need to hear your voice or receive your text. They still need to receive a care package with their favorite cookies. They still need to hear that you are interested in what is going on in their life. They still need a visit every once in a while so they can show off how they are doing. They still need your words of encouragement and expressions of pride. They still need you.
If your child is one who is having challenges along the way with roommates, friends, classes, professors, white laundry that is now pink, or the realization that home cooking is the only thing they like, they still need you. They also need to hear your voice or receive your text with encouragement and support. They need you to set up a FaceTime with the family dog to make them smile and maybe make them feel less homesick. They need you to send a care package with some of their favorite meals. They need you to listen, with interest and patience, about what is going on in their life and they need to hear your advice on how to get through difficult situations. They still need a visit every once in a while too or gas money for a trip home so they can be themselves (with no judgment) and get that pat on the back or hug they might need. They still need you.
Chances are that your child is going to have a mixture of the good and the not-so-good. They still need you. No matter what they are going through (whether as a freshman or grad student or anywhere in between), they still need you. You have done a great job of getting them ready for this stage in their life, but don’t worry that your advice, voice, listening, or presence in their life is no longer needed. They still need you.