Inside and Out - Student Equity and Engagement Center

Over the summer, my friends and I went to see Inside Out 2. Without spoiling anything, this sequel encouraged me to reflect on who I am, as well as what emotions construct my mind… More specifically, as a student-athlete. 

In the movie, Riley explores her emotions and how they shape who she is becoming as a student, as an athlete, and as a friend. Similarly, this blog is a collection of my emotions through my life as a ski racer. Growing into a collegiate skier started the first time I skied at two years old. Although I definitely do not remember the details from that day, it has proved to be a very important day in my life. 

Skiing is more than a sport for me. It has much more depth to my life. It consists of joy, gratitude, confidence, embarrassment, hope, and most importantly, it makes me proud. I invite you to join me in walking through the good and the bad to get a glimpse into what makes me human. 

JOY: Alta, Utah 

At two years old my dad took me skiing for the first time. I would be lying if I said I remembered much about those first few years. However, from the pictures I’ve seen and the stories I have been told, I was constantly gleaming with joy. My first real memory of skiing came when I was five. My family and I went to Alta, a ski resort in Utah. 

My memory glows with the vision of my dad dragging me through fresh waist deep powder by his ski pole. It was the first time I discovered the feeling of joy skiing brings me. The powder shimmering in the morning sun and the trees weighed down with fresh snow, as well as the mountains towering over me grew my love for not only the sport but for our environment, too. That trip to Alta remains unforgettable. 

GRATITUDE: 3-Musketeers 

All I could think about skiing at a young age was the snack size 3-Musketeers candy that my dad kept stashed in the pocket of his blue ski jacket. This was his genius idea to keep my sisters and I happy when the lift lines got long and it seemed way too cold to be on the ski lifts. I will always be grateful for my dad’s love for skiing and his constant involvement in my career. 

I will never take having someone who supports me and who loves my sport as much as I do for granted. 

EMBARRASSMENT: First Race at Mt. Brighton

In high school, I trained with my team on a tiny hill called Mt. Brighton (which was quite literally a repurposed garbage dump). As much as we made fun of that hill, we all loved it. My freshman year, I was so nervous for my first race that instead of skiing around the gate, I skied right through the first gate, which was definitely one of the most embarrassing moments of my career. 

I learned from that race to make sure I was in the right headspace before every race moving forward. It's best to embrace the embarrassing moments. Sometimes, when you slip and fall in front of your team while carrying your gear, laughter is the best remedy. 

CONFIDENCE: Faster Than Ever 

My senior year of high school was my best season yet, as I felt the impacts of my training through my confidence. I won races and even the conference. Near the end of my season, I was racing on a new pair of skis that were longer than anything I had skied before (which means I was getting more energy out of the skis than I was used to). I flew down the hill, feeling the best I had ever raced until the tip of my ski hooked on a gate right before the finish. Going roughly 35 mph, I flew through the air and hit the back of my head on the snow. 

My concussion took me out of sports for two months. One would assume that an injury like this would have a negative impact on my eagerness to race, but it had quite the opposite effect. The crash showed me I could go faster than I thought was possible, which in turn fueled my confidence in racing. 

HOPE: The Call 

After that crash, my season was over. I had little hope that my racing career would continue and didn’t consider the thought of racing in college as an option for me. Out of the blue I got a call from the Alpine Ski Coach at NMU. He offered me a spot, and without a second thought I immediately took it. I was beyond excited to continue ski racing at the collegiate level, and found hope. 

PROUD: The Biggest Reward 

The first two years of collegiate skiing have flown by. I have learned so much about myself as a skier and teammate. Although I have walked through a variety of emotions over these past two years–ranging from frustration and anxiety to inspiration and motivation–feeling proud of myself has been the most rewarding emotion. I am so incredibly proud of the person I am becoming. I can thank skiing for shaping who I am. 

I value all of the emotions and experiences that skiing brings me. With this being said, I find great value in the perspectives of others, too. Much like myself, everyone I meet has a story of their own, with values and beliefs built on their background and experiences. Appreciating the challenge of seeing life through a lens other than our own allows us to learn and grow. When

you take the time to ask questions and learn more about others, you learn more about yourself, too. My teammates, coaches, and family have all played pivotal roles in shaping the person I am today, inside and out.